With close to 30% of all Australian marriages ending in divorce, such a thing can have a serious impact on the development of the children, who sadly become collateral damage in the divorce proceedings. If you wish to minimise the negative aspects that a divorce might have on your kids, there are some things you can do to help make the transition a smooth one.
Discuss the Children’s Future with your Partner
This is absolutely essential and should be done without emotion from either parent. Whatever your grievances, the children must come first, and by talking to your partner, hopefully you can come to an agreement over joint custody. Failing that, you need to carry out an online search for child custody lawyers, who can help you prepare a strong case to put forward in court. In some cases, the separation is amicable and both parents work together to minimise the effects on the children, yet if this is not possible, for any reason, then you should seek out legal advice. When you meet your lawyer, you can explain the problem and outline what you feel is acceptable, which will give the legal expert a foundation to work from.
Put on a Unified Front
Children can pick up on the slightest undercurrent of emotion, and when you and your partner decide to tell the kids about the impending change, it is imperative that you are both unified in their presence. This might involve putting aside your personal feelings, but it is important that the kids do not feel threatened in any way. If both mum and dad seem happy with the arrangement, the children are more likely to be OK with it, and you should both focus on the positive side of things. The children need to understand that the divorce is in no way their fault and they also need to feel that both parents still love and care for them.
Seek Out a Family Lawyer
No matter how amicable the separation is, you should engage the services of a family lawyer who specialises in divorce, as he or she will be able to advise you accordingly and assist in the division of the marital assets. The lawyer will help you to ensure the well-being of the children and can advise you on the best way to go about that, which might involve setting up a special Trust for their future education. It is easy to let emotions influence you when going through a separation and the lawyer is there to provide sound legal advice at a time when you really need it.
Talk to your children about the changes and always be upbeat in their company, which will go a long way towards making the transition a smooth one. It is important for both parents to approach this in a unified manner and after a short period of adjustment, the kids should not be affected in a negative way.
Children need constant reassurance, especially at a time of big changes, so make sure you remind them of your love and that you will always be there for them.