When you are asked to mention the reason for every penny that you spend then you would die with shame. The situation would get so embarrassed that you would feel better in not spending money for self, than spending and be answerable to what is spent by you. It is good that you quit such a relation as soon as possible. However, since you are financially not so strong all that you could do is to hire the lawyer who could only charge the divorce lawyer fee so that the expenses of filing the divorce is not felt as a burden for you.